I don’t want to freak anyone out, but… your evil twin might have co-opted your message. Don’t have an evil twin? I’ll take your word for it, but that leaves me wondering about the contradictory messages in your content.
In fact, subtextual messages have been responsible for some of the most fraught, but enlightening, interactions I’ve ever had: the audience’s laughter at my earnestly dramatic performance as a child-abducting witch in a kindergarten play, the months-long cold war with a friend over laughing at a Michael-Jackson’s-hair-on-fire joke after proclaiming they were mean-spirited (hint: the true dispute was more about an accusation of insincerity than protecting MJ), the crossed wires that ended with the otherwise-well-socialized pup of my high school geography teacher hanging from the hem of my denim skirt—by his bared teeth.
One thing I learned was that this kind of miscommunication happens all the time, often despite your best efforts.
Other times, you might not have really acknowledged what you feel like saying, but it bleeds through anyway and changes everything about the message you send.
Consider this excerpt from the website of a DC area restaurant, presenting its “green policy”:
…is committed to doing its part to generate less waste, save energy and water, improve indoor air quality and keep the costs for our customers as low as possible, but it means understanding and support on the part of you, our customers.
…GLASSWARE & WATER
Water will only be provided when requested. We’ve noticed that about 75% of you who ask for water end up not drinking it, or you just drink a couple of sips of it. This not only wastes water but it increases dishwashing requirements. Besides, did you know that the body’s 8 glasses of water minimum was just a myth?…PAPER
We know our floors are not smooth, but we ask that you do not use a wad of paper napkins to stabilize wobbly tables. Please ask the staff for assistance to address the problem. We have a stash of wooden chips for this purpose….
…
We take our responsibility for the environment very seriously, and we understand that, as a result, service may not be what you are used to or what you consider to be “good”, so we truly appreciate your support in this joint effort.
I actually didn’t feel appreciated after reading this and the other policy mandates, which were mostly about what I could expect *not* to happen despite my entitled, ignorant, wasteful demands. Notwithstanding having opened the place to the public and not yet having met me, they didn’t seem to expect to like me very much, mostly because I might be looking for a comfortable dining environment. I mean, why not fix the wobbly tables *before* people sit down?
Maybe the restaurant’s customers love defensive curmudgeons. Or they’re so besotted with its food that they’ll ignore the implied disdain. Maybe they’re regulars who will recognize themselves as the miscreants the owners clearly anticipate and try to mend their ways. Even were any of those conditions met, letting subtext belie the relationship it claims it wants with its customers still seems pretty risky.
Here’s another restaurant’s take on a similar message:
We would appreciate your help with our sustainability by using the eco-friendly products provided and reducing the use of water and…the use of fresh towels….
…We are trying our best to minimise use of electricity and water, which we realise is a natural precious resource.
Staff training is ongoing and all departments are made aware of the importance of sustainability and environmental issues within our business and are given opportunities to improve our objectives.
We display our Green Policy Statement in a prominent position within the business.
This restaurant seems no less determined to green itself than the other, but I’m invited, not obligated, to participate in the restaurant’s efforts and reassured that they will create an environment in which it’s easy to be “good.” And honestly, that’s the least I’m hoping for when I exchange my precious financial resources for an evening of relaxation, hospitality, and tasty food: that I’ll leave the chosen place feeling pretty good about myself and the world I inhabit.
So what’s the subtext of *my* message? Why, a wish for love and happiness for us all, of course, and recognition that the human mind is complex, wondrous, and often unpredictable. I haven’t forgotten that some of the message resides in the mind of the beholder; communicators have no real control over such overlays.
But while text is important, I’d suggest that subtext is the soul of rhetoric. Your evil twin is absolutely entitled to her opinion—as long as she’s using her inside voice.
Related articles
- Subtext as clever writing (gointothestory.com)
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